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Category: Animal Jokes
Two Cows are talking through a fence. One cow says to the other, "You
know, I'm really worried about this Mad Cow Disease." The other cow says
to him, "I wouldn't be too worried about it. It can't affect us chickens."
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Category: Halloween Jokes
Q. What do witches put on their hair when they are going out????
A. Scare-spray
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Category: Body Parts
Q. What do you call a lady with one leg shorter than the other??
A. "I - lean"
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Category: Entertainment Jokes
There was a lady who had triplets. Shut up, Be quiet, and Trouble. One day
she told the boys to go buy her some milk from the store. They set off. When
they got there the walked around looking for the dairy section. Somewhere along
the line a big mob of people came and Trouble got lost. Shut Up and Be Quiet
went to a police officer that was buying some bread.
Officer: What is your name?
Shut Up: Shut Up.
Officer: What is your name?
Shut Up: Shut Up.
Since Shut Up was not cooperating he asked Be Quiet.
Officer: What is your name?
Be Quiet: Be Quiet.
Officer: What is your name?
Be Quiet: Be Quiet.
Officer:(really getting irritated) Are you guys looking for trouble?
Shut up and Be quiet: YES, YES, HAVE YOU SEEN HIM?
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Category: Kid Jokes
Q. Why do bakers work so hard?
A. Because they need the dough
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Category: Baby Jokes
A married couple rushed to the hospital because the woman
was in labor the doctor asked the couple, "I have invented a new machine
that you might want to try, it takes some of the labor pains away from the mother
and gives it to the father." So the married couple decided that they would
try this. So the doctor hooked the machine up and put it on 10% of pain switched
from the mother to the father and the husband said "I feel okay turn it
up a lot more" so the doctor turned it up to 50% and the husband said "why
don’t you just put it all on me cause I’m not feeling a thing"
but the doctor warned them "this much could kill you if your not prepared",
and the husband replied "I am ready "so the doctor turned the machine
up to 100% but the husband didn’t fell a thing so they went home happy
with a pain free labor, but when they got home the mailman was dead on the front
porch!
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A man and his girlfriend were out to dinner one night. The waiter tells
them the night's special is chicken almondine and fresh fish.
"The chicken sounds good; I'll have that," the woman says.
The waiter nods. "And the vegetable?" he asks.
"Oh, he'll have the fish," she replies.
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When the mother returned from the grocery store, her small son pulled out
the box of animal crackers he had begged for. Then he spread the animal-shaped
crackers all over the kitchen counter.
"What are you doing?" his mom asked. "The box says you can't
eat them if the seal is broken," the boy explained."I'm looking for
the seal."
Will Grow..............